Why we need to start living our own lives


Back again, due to popular demand...joking, however my last post must have been better than I thought so if you're interested give it a read. In all seriousness (kind of) I wanted to write about something that has been bubbling away at me for the last few months. 

As you might know, I lost two very close family members within the space of 4 months earlier this year. Although losing these people has broken me down, quite a lot, their passing has positively affected the way I have chosen to live my life. 

We need to start living for ourselves. 

I have a lot to speak about on this subject so please bare with. The fact on my birthday 10 months ago I had both my Nonna and my step-dad Stanley both living, and I thought healthy, they both were gone so quickly and it has honestly opened my eyes to how short life is. 

Life is short. And we hear that all the time, but we never realise how short. 

We need to start living our own lives because realistically, whatever you believe, you'll only have this life once. 

One of my biggest down-falls is I'm easily led to making choices based on how it will affect others. I rarely am selfish. I don't go out to hurt people, nor do I want to so I take the easiest routes out of a situation to please others around me therefore they're benefiting and I am not. Selflessness doesn't sound like something to dislike about yourself but when you constantly feel like a push over and you're constantly putting people before yourself but never receiving the same treatment back then you need to ask yourself a question - who are you living to keep happy? 

I hear so many stories from girls and boys who choose certain decisions based on keeping your partner happy. I've spoken about toxic relationships now so much it actually bores me because it's really negative BUT if you're living in a partnership where your constantly choosing the option to please your partner, you're not exactly living a happy life. Want to dye your hair but your partner only wants you in your natural colour? Want to go to see a band but your partner doesn't? Want to get a tattoo but your partner doesn't like them? Come to a compromise that you both are happy with or do what you want. Your partner might not be with you forever. Your partner is getting the satisfaction that they want but it's at your expense so where is the happiness? You literally have one body, one life. 

Another thing that is on my mind a lot is career choices. My mum has decided to leave her job and do something for herself. At first I was like woah but now I'm truly inspired by her choice. I spend approximately 50 hours at work a week. There's 168 hours in a week. I sleep approx. 43 hours in a week. That means I am awake for 125 hours a week, meaning I am working 40% of my awake time during a week. So why would you put yourself through a career path that makes you miserable when you're spending so much of your time there? 

Don't get me wrong, I have considered changing on days where customers have been difficult, computer systems have crashed or the work load has just been too much but at the moment, I can't see myself doing anything else and I can't see myself working somewhere with sound as a pound people like the people I work with now so I'm sticking it out and I'm happy too. 

HOWEVER, I completely went off subject then. The point I was getting at is some people choose an option they haven't chosen themselves. I'll give you an example. I went to a grammar school that wasn't chosen by me, my dad wanted it more than I did and granted I am happy I got that education, it wasn't my own choice. I left high school and originally was going to stay on at sixth form because I thought this would be what my parents would want. In the end, I didn't. I got a place at a different sixth form grammar school but the day I got a phone call to say I'd got a place I just said no. I was literally only going because I thought a grammar school education would be the only way into a good job. I was literally about to dedicate myself to COMPUTING and SOCIOLOGY instead of ICT and PHOTOGRAPHY which would've been a really stupid mistake. So I decided to go to a college near me instead, and I didn't really know anyone so it was really out of my comfort zone. Anyway, this was during a stage I was with my 'strange ex' and I had a dream of going to university to study music photography and during college I realised I wasn't going to get there with that ex boyfriend so I dropped out of college. I decided to take a completely different turn in life and went on to be chosen as 1 of 9 young adults out of 500 to do a social media and digital marketing apprenticeship in Manchester. I then started working. I realised I absolutely despised that industry and now I hire out portacabins and LOVE it. 

My point is, I got to this happy place by making decisions for me. Not for my family. Not for my ex. Not for my current boyfriend. Not for my future children. I have a friend who doesn't want to take up a dream of hers because her family want her to do the same as they have and it literally baffles me. I don't understand why people set up for these hopes that their family want to continue what they do when everyone should be living an enjoyable life for themselves. 

Still awake? I'm sure you've now read my last post - if not, that's rude. I mentioned how social media is ruining my generation and that is pretty relevant right now. I took a 4 day social media break last week and it made me feel fantastic. We are missing so much when we're glued to our screens (really hypocritical as I've been glued to my laptop for an hour writing this). We miss so many conversations, so many beautiful parts of nature, so many books that could be teaching us new things, so many opportunities to be happy. We are sat envying others lives and wanting it for ourselves but we're not actually enjoying our own lives. Madness. In my 4 day break I did so much I didn't realise would make me happy. I spent more time talking to my dad after work. I went for tapas with my mum and didn't bother checking in on Facebook. I told my boyfriend more rather than tweeting about my thoughts. I sat on my balcony a lot and relaxed myself. I read some books and really escaped. That is true happiness and now I find myself less interested in social media and more interested in just enjoying my day to day life. 

Money saving is something that people discuss a lot. I'm not against people saving and if you can do it whilst being happy go for it. But, I'm 100% a memory maker and living in the present rather than someone who thinks too far in the future. I honestly don't work as hard as I do to save my money and pay my bills. If I want to do something and it's going to cost, I'll find a way to pay for it. 

Travelling has become a new-found source of my happiness and although I haven't gone very far, the idea of planning a trip and getting away whether it's for a night or a week, the fact I know I'm going somewhere is enough to make me happy. Getting out of your own habitat is an incredible source of happiness. The world is massive by the way and there's a lot to explore. 

I hope my point has been made. Life is short. We don't know when the end is so go and enjoy it for yourself.

Hopefully I've made a bit of sense. I've been up since 5am and I'm ready for bed so I'm not sure what exactly I've wrote about but that's usually when I write best. 

lots of love
Jennie x

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