FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF

I'm a due for a good moan? Probably. I am getting absolutely sick to death of being ill all of the time. Being ill can be good at first. 1-2 days in bed, eating plenty of biscuits and drinking a lot of tea, catching up on crap telly or Disney films (finally watched Frozen!) and sleeping. But after those 2 days everything can just become...miserable. 

For me, being ill right now means missing college and that means missing out on a lot of work. At my college if you go under 90% attendance you're meant to be put on a contract. I'm on 85% after spending ages trying to get it up to 90% so looks like I'll be on contract when I go back to college...sigh. I became ill last Monday night so I spent Tuesday - Friday off college. I felt a lot better by Friday and so I thought I was capable of going to a wedding on the Saturday. However, during the wedding I had a coughing fit and then on the Sunday I woke up and my voice had completely gone and by the end of Sunday I just couldn't really speak at all. I still got myself ready on Sunday night to get up early this morning for college as I really thought I'd be going back in. 
Throughout the night I was just coughing. I woke up at 3am and couldn't actually get back to sleep until 5.30am. I then woke up at half 6 (my usual wake up time) and my dad said "Jen, have another day off, you're really unwell". I'm so annoyed at myself because I am so behind with work and it really stresses me out, especially because I'm doing A levels. 

Another thing that is annoying about being ill is I don't get to see my boyfriend. With this sort of illness I can barely speak, I get to hot, annoyed easily etc so it's probably best that Ellis stays away so he doesn't get ill but I miss him and all I want is a hug and some company. Being cooped up in my room all day, not being able to sleep is so lonely and it really affects me. Sigh.

I know there are far more worse illnesses and people in the world are dying and in a much less fortunate state than I am but I am obliged to moan about something that's upsetting me. I am stressed, sad and lonely and I want to be happy again!! :( 

Lots of Love
Jen xo

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